Why Wanna Quit?
So I heard this guy preach a sweet word yesterday at this meeting I went to. He got me pretty fired up to say the least. I was half-hoping he’d all of a sudden get tongue-tied and ask me to preach on… I’m saying this because I haven’t felt too spiritual or anything for the past few weeks. It’s not a matter of losing hope or faith or anything. I had chemo again last week, and in general, I’ve felt weak or something in my spirit… like the spiritual bank account in me was overdrawn again. It’s just where I’ve felt like I’ve been at. Something else has been different recently with my times praying/worshiping too. Although it’s not in my nature to be elusive when it comes to blogging about what’s been happening… I’ll leave that one at that. If you want to know what I’m talking about, Brad would recommend you read Ezekiel 37… then ask me about it.
Speaking of Ezekiel… read Isaiah 35 too. On Nov. 1st, we’re having a prayer/worship gathering at First Baptist Church in Ellwood City. It’s the same day as The Call California (please watch that video), and we’re having this event called re:Turn partly because of The Call as they’ve asked groups around the country to gather in prayer on that day to join with The Call. If you live around here, you should come. It’ll be from noon – 1am. Let me know if anyone’s interested.
Everitt Whiteside… that’s the name of the man who got me going yesterday morning. I probably spelled his name wrong, but that’s ok… My blogs are meant to be read aloud anyways to large groups of your peers and as bedtime stories for your children (jokes). I won’t try to retell Mr. Whiteside’s stuff, but they did record it. If I can track it down I’ll try to put it up for download to the right. It’s a ‘for-the-now’ kind of thing. He talked in the area of something that’s been on my mind lately… basically he talked about persistance and perseverance.
I know I had stuff typed up about this a couple weeks ago, but I think I deleted it… There are 2 Jesus stories that have been on my mind since I heard a Bill Johnson sermon where he talked about them/this subject. In one, (Luke 11:5-8) a friend wants some bread from a sleeping friend. In the other, (Luke 18:1-8) some woman wants some justice from a judge who didn’t really care a lot about justice (he obviously never took one of those tests to find what career best suits you). In both stories, it’s the persistence of the one praying that brought what was needed. The friend didn’t get the bread because of their friendship, and the judge didn’t deliver justice just because that’s his job as an administrator of justice. So Jesus told these stories… not me… and I’m pretty sure they’re told to illustrate how we should pray. Do I think God would rather take a nap than feed us… or would He rather play minesweeper than mete out some justice in the land? I highly doubt it (even though minesweeper is pretty addicting)… I don’t think the point is to illustrate characteristics of God, but it’s to illustrate characteristics of the kind of faith that pleases God.
I heard a story somewhere… this is a true story as far as I know. A man was interviewing a man of prayer (a man of God). The interviewer asked the man if he’s ever had any prayers that God didn’t answer. The man said there was only one… he was praying for the adult son of some friends of his who wasn’t a believer. The man hadn’t yet come to know Jesus. In the same breath with which he gave that response, he added something like this: “…but I don’t see any way how that prayer won’t be answered because I’m still praying.” This man who was being interviewed died, and the son of his friends met Jesus at this guy’s funeral.
That’s good stuff right? I’d pause and take an offering right now if this wasn’t a blog (jokes again). How do we live in faithful persistence? I asked Brad a few days ago what it takes to see our prayers answered? Are the answers just on the other side of more prayers? Is there something more we need to see or understand first? I don’t know. How do we pray with continual faith and persistence when nothing seems to be happening? I don’t know exactly… I’ve been thinking about things connected to this for a little while now. So I’m going to just throw a few things up in the air here, run out of the way and see if any of them float… Then I’ll probably go play my guitar…
Does our faith come from the prayers we’ve seen answered before? I’m not saying it doesn’t in part… but Israel wandered and didn’t enter the Promised Land initally because of lack of faith. They saw more crazy-amazing miracles than anyone ever. Does a love relationship with God need to stay bigger than his powerful hands? We know what He’s done, but what He’s done should point to who HE is as opposed to just what HE can do. God wants to give us the desires of our hearts. He said that. Do we want to give Him the desires of His heart? Weird thing to think about right? I’m speaking in terms of relationship… not philosophy right now…
We, in a sinful state, were more important to Jesus than His own life. He wants us, and wants to bring us life abundant. He gave everything to give us more than everything. Would we give our very lives up in exchange for what He wants? These aren’t questions about whether it’s ok to desire things… it totally is, and it’s important that we dream and tell God about those yearnings. I think when we’re walking in His Spirit, our dreams show us our destiny. Maybe these are questions about sacrificial love? (maybe I’m just going crazy) There’s no greater love than giving your life for a friend… that’s a sacrificial love. Does love require sacrifice? Maybe it does… If a man viewed his life as something equal to his wife’s, would he ever die for her (a well-known portrait of great love)? Is there an element of love that we can get to with God where we want what He wants more than what we want? Does it even matter though since our desires are birthed out of His spirit, which lives in us? (wouldn’t they be desires like His anyways?) Yes…
That’s why I said before that maybe this isn’t about desires or priority… but maybe this sacrificial persistence thing deals more with sacrificial love… What’s bigger in my own eyes… my desires, or the element of heaven coming to earth that is packed within those desires? If it’s just about getting what I want, I can see how I could grow tired of asking without any signs of receiving an answer. If I pray out of my desires while knowing that I’m praying in agreement with heaven… and THAT’S my main source of fuel for persisting… couldn’t I (shouldn’t I) carry on with those prayers for the advancement of HIS Kingdom indefinitely? This isn’t about my desires as much as it is about how I view the one I love. I don’t even know if this makes sense to anyone (including myself). …but… there I am.
It’s a really good day today, and I’m building a really big fire on Friday *grunt*
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